Ghost of a friendship, Lies a of a friend

Hold fast, stay strong, keep your light and keep the darkness at bay.

Pictures hold a thousand words, and lifetimes warmth within,

Of friendships past, where lack of trust seems almost a sin.

Look past the eyes, the joking grin, the bear hug that they gave.

It will remind you of memories you thought you didnt save.

Almost ethereal, almost real, that hold made things seem true,

but, it seems, the person you had, had covertly altered their hue.

The warmth became as cold as ice, the hands with claws like daggers of steel.

When left alone, you quietly sit and try to remember what was real.

As you look back, you see what changed and surely its a jest.

But it was you who made a mistake in holding up their crest.

In time you wished that you would be the one that they’d count on.

but In your darkest moment, on your mind did it finally dawn.

As you put more importance in the ones you thought your own,

the life of you, the confidence and soul was sucked out of your bones.

But these are only hauntings see, do not let them win the day.

Hold fast, stay strong, keep your light and keep the darkness at bay.

No amount of lies or ghosts can wither your heart

unless you, and you alone, give them the right to start.

So worry not of ghostly comrades, of whose time you should forget,

Keep  your eyes ever on the future, let go of the lies that you have met.

 

-SkipperStitch

Writing, feeling, waiting, hoping….

I wonder why I always wait.

I woke up today. That, in itself, is a huge tremendous blessing. I woke up today next to my beautiful wife. Another amazing gift. So I guess I’m doing alright yeah?

Anyways, ive neglected this blog for far too long. Honestly, I get a little scared everytime i look at it. Like the words I’ll write don’t have no right to be written, the thoughts in my mind, no right to exist. In less melodramatic terms, I feel like nothing i say or do is worth being said or done. But I’m wrong. Right? Eh, well this’ll pass, it always does. As i reflect on the title of this particular blog post, I wonder. I wonder why I always wait. What am I waiting for? the longer i sit here, the more of my life passes me by and, you know, I wasnt lying when i told myself, all those years ago, that I didn’t want to merely exist. I wanted to live. But boy is it hard to live. How do people do it? how do people talk to other people they don’t know, strike up conversation, I mean, just, how? God, I swear i spend most of the day worrying what I’ll say or do that by the time I decide, the day is over and gone. I have to get out out of this funk I’m in. One step at a time I guess. UIm deciding to speak to a psychologist. Or therapist? Probably one of my biggest fears but, if it’ll help me, then i welcome it. Here’s to the future.