Feeling stuck

I can’t let myself get stuck for too long, can I?

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You know the feeling where, there’s your goal, the light at the end of the tunnel, and it feels so close. So you take a step towards it and it actually feels like you took two steps back in the process? That’s where I’m at. Now I know I’m not the only one who ever feels this way, but i think i know what the problem is. Where my peers have though their way through it, fought their way, or just straight up willed their way through their proverbial quicksand, here I lay. Thats the biggest mistake anyone could make and, by god, I KNOW that. So what went wrong? I remember when i was in school, the amount of work I’d put in to make sure everything was done. Now I can barely motivate myself to wake up.It feels like something broke in there (my mind). But that’s ok, I think. This is just another opportunity to kick myself up and dust myself off. I can’t let myself get stuck for too long, can I? I wonder what today will bring me?

-Skipperstitch

Welcome to my Mind!

Good News Everyone!

Good News Everyone! (please use Herbert Farnsworths Voice when reading this for added effect haha)

but really, I guess this is more good news for me then it is for you! I’m not giving up on this blog and am, in fact, expanding upon it. I have always wanted to write a novel or book filled with short stories and/or poems. So, I think I’ll start here. Hopefully I can get some followers to read them along with my usual thoughts and blurbs about life. Very much trying to find a positive outlook and release valve for my own thoughts. I know alot of you guys are too so I hope that I can give you something to chew on. But welcome to this lovely, desolate, hopeful, fearful, confident, beat down place i like to call my mind. Please make yourselves at home. I welcome any type of constructive criticism, be it towards my work or my thoughts, but please be kind. I know the internet can be a shitty place but I still have hope for human kind. I think, most importantly, I still hold out on hope for you. Yeah you! Reading this! Yeah, you’re awesome! Thanks for being here! Enjoy!

Writing, feeling, waiting, hoping….

I wonder why I always wait.

I woke up today. That, in itself, is a huge tremendous blessing. I woke up today next to my beautiful wife. Another amazing gift. So I guess I’m doing alright yeah?

Anyways, ive neglected this blog for far too long. Honestly, I get a little scared everytime i look at it. Like the words I’ll write don’t have no right to be written, the thoughts in my mind, no right to exist. In less melodramatic terms, I feel like nothing i say or do is worth being said or done. But I’m wrong. Right? Eh, well this’ll pass, it always does. As i reflect on the title of this particular blog post, I wonder. I wonder why I always wait. What am I waiting for? the longer i sit here, the more of my life passes me by and, you know, I wasnt lying when i told myself, all those years ago, that I didn’t want to merely exist. I wanted to live. But boy is it hard to live. How do people do it? how do people talk to other people they don’t know, strike up conversation, I mean, just, how? God, I swear i spend most of the day worrying what I’ll say or do that by the time I decide, the day is over and gone. I have to get out out of this funk I’m in. One step at a time I guess. UIm deciding to speak to a psychologist. Or therapist? Probably one of my biggest fears but, if it’ll help me, then i welcome it. Here’s to the future.